January 2019

It's dark at 4.00 and my fingers are blue and red and numb and walking home feels just like it always does, only darker.

Winter in January always gives that frosty atmosphere like "Lust- Puma Blue" being played in the background, faces turned down, smiles are frowns, conversations are not at all.

And it's like the old days, sitting on benches, hands clasped to my mouth at lunchtime, only no one's talking, and if they are, their eyes stay empty, just staring solemnly at the ground some distance away.

It's weird seeing people you ought to know- old familiarities, old comforts, old characteristics tainting the blood of others. It spills over like a crime scene. I remember year 8 was so big and yet so small and I can't wrap my brain around the concept. Brains aren't supposed to be bridges.

Today was one of those days that just ended but just wouldn't go away all at once, overwhelmingly so.

I wish I could rationalise the disappearance of time.

My favourite word lately;

PREMONITION

like running home in the rain and seeing yourself falling, teeth to concrete and you can smell the impact like it's chasing you- praying or preying?

Time is the predator?